The Bright Side History – The Benefits of Global Warming – @midnight with Chris Hardwick

We all know that global warming is perhaps the biggest threat facing humanity over the next 50 years, but it's not all bad news according to Yahoo. According to a recent study, rising temperatures will actually be good for getting folks in North Dakota out of the house. You never even thought about that part of it. -(applause and cheering) -We never even thought about it. You, selfish, underwater Hawaiians, it's not all about you all of the time! ORLANDO JONES: Yeah. -What about North Dakota? -Yeah. -Yeah. -Yeah. For some people, global warming is a good thing. There are at least 40 meth-addicted frackers and a dozen or so buffalo veterinarians who stand to benefit from it being a little nicer outside for once. -So maybe open your (bleep) minds… -(applause, cheering) …and think of some of the benefits of global warming. I mean sure, sure, the mosquito population will skyrocket and give most of the southern hemisphere super Ebola, but for a lucky few, they'll get to sit out on their porch on a balmy February night in North Dakota and get radiated by the sunset with their pet polar bear who now will look like this, -and great, I say.

Fun. -(laughter, applause) That's what they look like when you shave them. -Every polar bear. -(cheers and applause) Polar bears look all scary, but underneath, just a little wiener. -Just… -(laughter) So, comedians, I've listed a couple, but I'm sure there are a lot more ways to approach this very optimistically. What are some other benefits of global warming? -Orlan… I'm sorry. Nimesh. -Donald Trump will spend his winters in Swamp Mar-a-Lago. -HARDWICK: Yes. Points. Very good. -(laughter) -(applause and cheering) -Orlando. Well, if it's hot as balls, we know nudist colonies are gonna be lit. -HARDWICK: All right. Points. -(laughter) -Yeah. -Very good. -Lit! -(applause and cheering) -Arden. -Um, it'll only take 15 minutes to fly from coast to coast, Chris. -HARDWICK: Yes. -(laughter) -Points. -Yes! -Finally.

In-flight movie's just gonna be a clip -of the Cash Me Outside Girl. -HARDWICK: Nope. -(laughter).